Been together six years. Two years ago discovered at least 5 affairs had taken place in 2008. Went through the forgiveness process. Over and over again find out the last affair is still going on. Now it has been three years. He stands in church with me and prays with me at home and swears he will never hurt me again, yet last week I found him behaving oddly again with his cell phone and found daily evidence of interaction with the same woman which he denies most of and claims the rest was to tell her to "leave him alone" which is not what any of it said and I do not believe him. There was also a very bad photo being saved on the phone. Then he uses the Bible, tells me to leave it alone and let him handle it, that I am not a respectful christian woman for meddling. I have lost all faith in him. Is it time to call it quits? I cant believe a word he says and his words towards me kill me. He promises he will do everything it takes to save this, yet then he does absolutely nothing. I told him I would be willing to reconcile if he could just prove to me he stopped. I want her blocked from the phone, I want to see he isnt contacting her, he would never do that. At this point I feel like he is talking to her and seeing her everytime Im not around, and I am finding it to be true. He criticizes my actions harshly and blames me for the affair. How can he stand here judging me this way when he is doing such wrong? My heart is so broken, I am dying inside and have become usless to my family half the time in this dance of hurt. What should I do?
If everything I am reading is true and indeed he has had an affair, Biblically you have grounds for divorce according to Matthew 19:9. Is he open to Christian marital counselling? You two have a lot of issues that need talked out in the midst of a mediator so it is fair.
Matthew 18:15-20 says if a brother sins against you confront him. If he does not listen take 2 others along. If he still does not listen tell it to the church.
If you are looking to reconcile - I would go this route - take someone else with you to confront him - so it is not just your word vs. his... If he does not listen tell it to the church.
If you have decided you are done - get your ducks in a row and file for divorce. Biblically, you are free.
This is easier said than done if you have children. But in no way is God asking you to allow this man to continue on in his permiscuity. You either need Biblical counseling to work out these issues if you are looking to restore your marriage or you need to take steps to end your marriage.
I am so sincerely sorry you are in this terrible position. :-( It is heart breaking.